How to deal with husband’s poor hygiene?

I knew what I was getting myself into before marriage but the problem appears to be escalating. My husband has not brushed his teeth for probably the entire time we’ve dated and been married (2 1/2 years). I gently told him “how I feel about dental hygiene” in a non-direct way, hoping he would get the hint. He hasn’t. He states he hates the flavor of mint, which I am assuming is why he never brushes his teeth but the two conversations have never been connected. He also does not shower for days at a time. I have to nag him to shave and cut his hair which he does probably every couple of months and needs it far more often than that. I’m not sure how to have this conversation without hurting his feelings but making sure he gets the hint. It’s gotten to the point where being close to him instantly puts me off and I dodge every attempt he makes to kiss me.


OK some people need a CLEAR message and your husband is one of them You sit down with him and in clear words you tell him everything you told us here and if he says something like its not that terrible tell him that he is putting his marriage in jeopardy 52 yrs of marriage

real estate guy

Actually this is somewhat common for people with some type of mental illness. And not, it's not normal. He really show talk with a doctor about this.


make him take a bath !!


there are toothpastes that are not mint flavored but like you said you knew he had a lack of hygiene and chose to marry him anyway. its not something that is likely to change

Barb Outhere

When my son was little he couldn't stand anything mint either so I got him other flavoured toothpaste. I think one was bubblegum flavour and the other was banana. They are out there but you have to look for them, and they are often marketed to kids so look in the kids section. That might eliminate one excuse anyway. How is his attitude towards life in general and your relationship otherwise? I ask because sometimes poor hygiene and/or a lack of self care is prompted by a deep depression or poor self worth. Like everything else between husband and wife, if its affecting your relationship you should be able to talk about it. Starting from a point of concern for him and his wellbeing is probably better than "I don't want to be around you cause you stink". .


If he wouldn't adopt good personal hygiene habits BEFORE the marriage, how would marrying inspire him to do so? I don't understand how you came to expect that this would ever change. He didn't need to change to initiate marriage with you, so it's doubtful he will change to continue marriage with you. I don't see how you could have tolerated even DATING some who doesn't clean his teeth, doesn't shower, doesn't groom his hair and beard.


That’s disgusting, how did he get a job that way ? Hasn’t brushed his teeth in years ? 🤢 This is affecting your sex life, you need to just come out and say it, he needs to shower daily and brush his teeth daily as well, does he even have teeth at this point ? Going years without brushing ? Hinting isn’t cutting it and this is important. How can you even share a bed with a guy that never showers or gets hair cuts or brushes his teeth ? He has to smell like death at this point. This is disturbing enough to divorce over if he doesn’t get his hygiene in order.