Can a venue give away your spot if you asked to put it on hold?

I have been working so hard doing all this wedding homework and nobody gets how mentally exhausting it is. I have been researching the most cost effective ways, charts, and have been telling my fiancé, and my parents that we need to book soon. We fell in love with this one venue - visited with the twice and asked to hold 2 dates but 1 in particular. The reason was that we were waiting to hear back from the church for our ceremony. I told them hat once we were to hear back, we would book with them this week. I got an email today and the coordinator informed me that our date was taken... a group came in and took the venue and date we wanted. I’m devastated. My bridesmaids and people in the business told me that the venue should’ve notified us first, especially because we were so close to booking it. I see it from their point of view- it’s businss, however, my words were, “we are interested on this date. We need to get confirmation from the church first and once we do this week, we will book won’t you.” She just emailed me and said a group came in and took it. Now, my fiancé doesn’t even want to do business with them, even given the “plan b” date. Thoughts? UPDATE: I would've understood if they said, "we cannot do holds at all but if you're interested, let us know the dates but we can't do holds, meaning, if someone came in and was interested in the date you wanted, we would not be able to hold it for you" Instead, they said that they could hold the dates for us bc we still needed to hear back from our church. We had an agreement that they would hold those dates but I guess it was never a "hold". We all interpreted and were made to believe that "hold" by them was that they would keep those dates off limits bc we just needed confirmation from the church this week. We got confirmation from the church today and were planning to book with that venue today, as well but whatever. This probably wasn't meant to be Other venues I've visited (which were numerous) were very honest and upfront about it and had worded it this way. I understood it from the get-go and got it. These people were so "laid back" and said, "yes, we can hold these dates for you, especially bc you'll give us an answer on Wednesday. And we understand how churches are." So that is why we felt duped.


Money down or it's not yours. That's business. It sucks, but that's how it is. EDIT: On second thought, it actually doesn't suck. Really think about it. You asked them to hold a date but offered them no incentive to do so. This other group turned up, asked to hold the date, then offered money as incentive to do so. Money keeps the venue's lights on. It was never your spot because you offered no incentive.


You should have cleared it with them first. Asking to hold 2 spots is asking for too much in my opinion. Did you leave a deposit? Sorry, but as you said it's business.


The first one there with the deposit, wins. They can't lose a confirmed sale because you "might" want that date.


Whoever ponies up the money gets the venue. You didn't give them a down payment. That means they don't hold your date for you...when someone came in wanting that date and laid down the deposit money, they got it. I'm sorry but that's just basic business 101. "He who hesitates is lost" Suppose you were trying to sell your used car for $1000. A very nice and sincere young lady looked at it, drove it, told you she really liked it, and would buy it in one week, come payday. Another person who saw your ad looked at the car and wanted it too; they offered to give you $100 cash and bring you the rest tomorrow. Would you sell them the car, or wait for the first girl's payday next week? What if next week came and went, but the young lady didn't come back to you with the money? She called you and said sorry, she was going to come with the money, but her baby got sick and had to go to the ER, and now she had a big medical bill to pay and could no longer afford to buy your car. What if you called the second person, and they said they had already bought a different car? You'd be stuck with a car that you could have sold. See where I'm going with this? "In God we trust...all others must pay cash"


They didn't give away your spot. Since you did not put a financial deposit on that date it's not your date. It doesn't matter what you verbally ask them to do. What matters is did you provide a deposit to hold that date for you.


Unless you put money down, it's not held. You should of asked if you could put the deposit on the date you want, if you need to change it, they will not charge you more, within a reasonable time period. Some might do that. Unless you put a deposit on a date, they can not hold that date.


That's how it works, dear. They book the party that's ready to place their deposit. If they'd held it and your church date fell through, they'd have lost a sale. Eta: Wait, you asked them to hold TWO dates with no deposit, on the off chance one of the two worked out? Wow, that took brass.


You have to usually pay money to hold a date. Other venues for weddings: botanic gardens, parks, restaurant banquet room, hotel banquet room, luxury yacht rental, vacation house/ mansion rental, apartment banquet room, backyard, amusement park banquet room, church dining room, Civic center, public library banquet room, country club, beach, mountain resort, your house

Common Sense

You have learned a valuable lesson. You should have had the CHURCH "hold" a date prior to finding a venue. AND, a deposit at the venue would have held it for your reception, regardless of any loose verbal agreement while you were finding out about the church. Yes, without a written contract, a venue can and will book a reception for the party that pays first.


If you want someone to blame, blame the coordinator at the church. You can't expect anyone to hold a date for you unless you've paid not only a deposit, but likely half the payment due. Nothing is a contract unless there is consideration given from each participant, and you had given them nothing. For your information, EVERYONE who has gotten married and not eloped has gone through what you are now. It's not as special as you think. There's an entire industry devoted to making everyone's wedding "unique" and "custom" and "special", and as complicated as possible. If you think this is too much, wait until you are married.


Yes. Unless you put down a deposit to hold the venue, verbal holds don't mean a darn thing. Sorry.


You were not duped. You had no written agreement. They had no obligation to call you. “We all interpreted” That was your mistake. I don’t know of any wedding venue that would hold a date without a deposit If they verbally told you they would hold until Wednesday you could go in and speak to the manager. At this point I would not use them. Live and learn. Get it in writing.


If you put money down then yes, but it sound like you didn't. They're a business, they can't hold dates because you "might" take the date, especially when there's someone in front of them saying they want it. Do you know how many people say they're going away to think about it, waiting on something or some one. Not their problem. Why didn't you put some money down if it was just between two dates.


Of course... It wasn't your spot. It becomes your spot after you have patient your initial deposit and have a signed contract. If you didn't do that, that date what available to anyone who wanted it and did what was required to actually hold it. They were under no obligation to inform you the date was no longer available. You either need to find another venue or see if you can change dates at your ceremony venue. Your fiance is being ridiculous over it. They are running a business and they don't have time to sit around and wait for people who "might" lock in their date. Time is money. When I was wedding planning, the ceremony venue was more important to me than the reception one was. I got a few dates with them that it was available and they did hold the dates for me (but this is a church that I've been a member of for many years) and then I looked at venues and what date those were available. I locked in my date at the venue and then told the church what day I needed so they could release those other dates for something/someone else.


It's a business. While this is the first wedding you've planned, they've done plenty. Your interpretation doesn't make sense, particularly since you know from talking with other vendors that a deposit is customary. "So close to booking" means zero. Can't tell you how many times salespeople have spent hours with brides at salons, bakeries, florist shops, caterers, only to have the bride never return. Brides are polite, enthusiastic, etc. and...find a caterer, florist, gown they like better. Can't tell you how many times we've actually *fitted a gown* and gotten the phone call to pull the pins, the wedding was off, or she was going to wear it as is, or she found someone to hem it cheaper. If you think planning a party for yourself is mentally exhausting you are certainly not ready for something as serious as marriage. PS. Good luck to you. Your fiance sounds petty.


Of course a venue can give away your spot.. The first one there with a firm commitment (money) wins.


Actually anyone who's ever planned a wedding gets how mentally exhausting it is. You're hardly the only individual who's ever had to do this (which is why there are professionals who do this for a living). But generally speaking, until you put down a deposit no venue or vender is required to hold your date for you. At this moment though your problem is with the groom not the venue, as it sounds like the venue is willing to try to accommodate you on a different date. It's your future life partner you have to convince.


If you didn't put down a deposit and sign a contract, then they had no legal or moral obligation to hold the date for you. So, of course they "can" give away this spot because it wasn't "your" spot in the first place! They are a business, and their priority is to book dates and make money. A promise from you doesn't pay their bills. You're an adult now, and it's not their job to hold your hand and explain every little thing to you and do everything in their power to spare your precious feelings. If you feel they should've called you first to give you a final chance to book, fine, but they technically did nothing "wrong" here. The date wasn't "yours" because you did NOTHING to hold that date. Asking them "Hold it, pretty please!" doesn't mean jack squat to them. If you wanted it so bad you should've put down a deposit to hold it while you made up your mind. Again, you're an adult and you should've known better ... if you don't know by now that a deposit is needed to "hold" something, then it's not their job to teach you that. It's up to you whether or not this is a dealbreaker for you. If you don't like what they did, then by all means look for another venue. But they didn't "betray" or "dupe" you or go back on a business deal if you didn't put down a deposit. It's not their problem if you couldn't make up your mind or secure your church date fast enough. They have employees to pay and bills to pay, dear. They did nothing wrong here. Just because the other venues you visited were so accommodating doesn't mean that this place is automatically bad or shady because they didn't blow smoke up your butt as well. Again, IT'S A BUSINESS. They're not your friends. They get a TON of couples every week who come in and say, "OK, we want XYZ date, we'll be back soon with a check" and then they never show. They'd be out of business in a heartbeat if they held all those dates and turned away people ready to book ASAP. Stop complaining and either put down a deposit for this place, or find a new one and put down a deposit quick before you lose that one too. But, again, STOP COMPLAINING.


money talks, when you run a business like this, I am sure they get a lot of "i'll get back and let you know" this is the reason for a deposit


If you don't pay any sort of deposit for it, they sure can. It's not your spot until you've paid for it.


In the world of business, money talks. It's likely the other couple came in and agreed to sign the contract to have their wedding reception there on that date. It would have been nice for them to call and tell you that they had another inquiry, but if you had still been unsure at that time they would have given the date away. Sorry you're so disappointed. I'd grab plan b!! Just read all your updates - I wonder if maybe if the date was given to another couple by a different employee of the venue? Do you think that's possible? Maybe the employee you spoke to wasn't involved in the later transaction. Sorry for the misunderstanding. Wedding planning is definitely stressful. Just try to let this go now - you're getting married (be happy)!