How do I ask for financial help with bills and baby needs during an unpaid maternity leave, instead of traditional gifts for a baby shower?

I am employed and make decent wages, but I m only working part time due to going to college concurrently. As a part-time employee, my employer will hold my job but will not pay me for any time off with my pregnancy/the birth. My boyfriend and I will be saving as much as we can to help with the loss of my wages for my maternity leave, but we can only do so much with me being part time. His income alone will not sufficiently support us. I will be done with school by the birth, but I m not sure I will be able to pick up much extra work (I m a nurse) that late in the pregnancy. And even if I picked back up full-time hours or more, my employer will not give me benefits back until I am full-time for more than a year. So, I thought it would be wise to ask that friends and family consider donating to the "maternity leave fund" instead of buying expensive gifts (that I dont mind getting used/second-hand) for a baby shower. However, I dont want to sound offensive or greedy, asking for money. Any thoughts on this? Advice on wording?


You cannot. It would be tacky and rude and, yes -- offensive and greedy. What you CAN do is to return any gifts you receive and get the credit/money... and then re-buy what you need from Goodwill or a consignment shop. Have you checked out the cost of child care? If not, you're in for another rude awakening. My niece is a registered nurse, making $38/hour... and SHE couldn't afford daycare until her son turned 1, so she had to take a year off from working. Good luck.


That would be tacky. You shouldn't have gotten pregnant until you were financially able to support a baby.You shouldn't visit your poor choices on others.


You don't. If people ask the person hosting the shower what you need, the hostess can certainly say "monetary donations." But you don't just flat out tell people you want money. That's beyond tacky. Your reproductive choices are no one's financial responsibility but your own. If you cannot afford having a baby, you should consider adoption.


Asking for money is always going to come across as offensive and greedy. Why not just send out an invoice with the invite?


There really is no polite way to ask people for money. Sorry, but I have to agree with the others here, that you and your bf should have considered your weeks of unpaid leave when you decided to get pregnant, and planned accordingly. All you can really do right now is cut luxuries, save as aggressively as you can, maybe hope for a nice refund when you file your taxes and bank every dime, and hope it's enough until you get back to work.


I thought "baby needs" were the traditional gifts for a baby shower. But in any case, you can't put any sort of gift instructions on an invitation. What you can do is speak frankly about your preferences and your situation to anyone who asks.


You don't ! That's incredibly tacky and rude.


You cannot politely ask for money because it is not a polite thing to do. It puts people in an awkward position. You can't tell people what to give you for a gift because gift giving is at the discretion of the giver. You can't do what you want politely because what you plan on doing - asking for money - is inherently rude.


IF you're a nurse, you're making a good wage, so unless you're living beyond your means, i'm not sure why you don't have money saved.


Don’t set up a registry. When people ask you what you’d like (or ask whoever is hosting your shower what you’d like) tell them the truth. It can be difficult to ask for cash in shower type settings because the present-opening is a typical part of the party, so maybe have a more casual gathering than a full “Oh, Susan gave me $50” sort of gift opening.


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