How to handle temper tantrums?

daughter just turned three and has recently started throwing tantrums at the store. she starts screaming and becomes rigid if there is something she wants and doesn't get. sometimes I give in just to avoid it. otherwise I have to pack her out of the store screaming with everyone looking, it's embarrassing a belt on a three year old? I can understand a smack but really that only makes them cry and scream more... I will try different methods


Before your child goes into the store tell him/her that you expect good behaviour or there will be a consequence. If they are good the whole way buy them a small treat like a lolly or small toy. If they throw a tantrum take them outside the shop and give them a time out either in your car or if you don't have one on a bench or something outside.


Talking to a child doesn't work. They will just keep at it Groundings never owrk, time outs never work. You need to take a belt to her backside. That's the cure all. It always works and that's what GOOD parens, not lazy ones like you, do.


NEVER - NEVER - NEVER give the child what they want when a tantrum is involved. You can never let them think that a tantrum can give them what they want. When I went shopping with my daughters, I would always tell them BEFORE going into the store if they would be allowed to get a toy or treat while in the store. Usually, I would tell them that if they are good the entire time we are in the store that they can pick one toy or treat from the shelf I show them. (It let me control the price and item by telling them I picked the shelf they could take from) Some days, I told them that I couldn't get anything extra that day - but they knew before going into the store that nothing extra was going to be purchased. Children do also need to learn that not every trip into a store ends with a special reward for them. (and families on a budget can't always do special things on every trip out) At the age of three - it is more about teaching them self control when they face disappointment. But, it is also about teaching them that they CAN NOT manipulate you into doing what they want. Right now, you have shown your daughter that if she makes a big enough fuss - she might get what she wants.


You might want to check out for sensory issues. Children with sensory issues will exhibit behavior that can be interpret as tantrum when its actually a meltdown. I have two daughters with this. Headphones worked for us. To soundproof or even sunglasses to dim the lights. Or when my kids are actually have a tantrum and just being kid, we stop and remove from the store and wait in the car. Calm them down, but be firm. That this is not acceptable behavior in public. Most tantrums is sometimes they can just communicate what is wrong.

Coach Simon

Read the parenting books! Especially perhaps “How to Talk so Kids will Listen and Listen so Kids will Talk and Listen so Kids will Talk” by Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish


1) Try to do your errands when she's not tired or hungry or not feeling well. A lot of tantrums can be avoided just by timing outings well. 2) Don't give in. Ever. Doing it even a couple of times teaches her that it will work *sometimes,* which will make her try it *all the time.* 3) Set expectations of behavior *before* leaving the house, and then again before entering the store. Set a reward for good behavior -- for example, she gets a small treat, or a sticker, or extra iPad time (or whatever is particularly desirable for your child) if she's a good girl and sits nicely in the cart while you shop. But also set a consequence for bad behavior, whether it's a time out IN the store, or losing a privilege when she gets home, or whatever else. If you *will not* be buying treats or toys while you're out, make that clear from the beginning and don't cave. But make the reward known, too, so she can be reminded of it while you're out. Occasional extra special rewards (ie, a surprise trip to get ice cream when she's been particularly good lately) can add additional encouragement for desired behavior. 4) If she starts to act out, give her a warning so she has an opportunity to correct the behavior. If she doesn't listen, then take her out of the store kicking and screaming if you have to. Yes, people will stare. But people are generally more understanding of a 3 year old being a fit-throwing brat than a 13 year old, so work on it NOW while she's still little. 5) If you try all of this but aren't getting anywhere and you think she's just going through a particularly defiant phase, give yourself a break by saving most of your errands for when someone else can watch her. Some toddlers are just a**holes at a particular age, and then a few months later they're over it go back to being perfectly sweet. 6 months or a year from now she could be a totally different child and much easier to take out in public. Trust your judgement on this one.


Try taking away his internet connection and smartphone too ... limit his time with PlayStation if he has one also ..... hopefully this works.


walk away

Some chickadee

Honestly sometimes you may need to annoy every single person in that store and let her sit right in front of what she wants and let her go crazy and keep telling her that you need to calm down and you're not getting that this is not how you are going to behave. and it will not work at first you're going to have a very very very emotionally distressed child but eventually she'll get it. Most kids are way smarter than we give them credit for and that's why we don't get why they do certain things. it's because we tend to give in as parents and they know. A little bit of tough love and nope you're not going to get that. I also like the approach where you bring them outside and sit on the hood of the car until they calm down and then bring them back inside and repeat till there not making a fool of themselves lol. But that may take a little bit longer and you'll have to leave your cart. it's a lot either way but if anyone gives you any stress about it say I'm parenting this is a lesson.


nnaybe you can reward her sonnehow for not throwing thenn