Someone I know just entered a nursing home & is too cranky to talk. How do I break the ice? I've waited, but their mood hasn't changed?



You say they 'just' entered the home. So perhaps you haven't waited long enough. Having to move into a nursing home is something every older person dreads; very few people actually welcome it, and many are in despair. Let the person grieve - because that's what's happening. He's grieving for his life. Give him time to adjust and begin to accept. Don't try to make them chat. Drop in for short visits as often as you can, bringing something small but fun (a glossy magazine; a beautiful piece of fruit), sit for not more than five or ten minutes, and DON'T say 'You'll just have to make the best of a bad job'. When you leave, don't look too cheerful, but reassure them that you'll be back soon.


Ignore the mood and keep phone calls very short. Once they adjust you may find your conversations get better and longer, Don’t just stop calling them.


just go visit thenn, they nnight be in a better nnood once they see you


Give them a couple of weeks to get adjusted and properly medicated.

The Taxpayer

Just ask, "so what was it? The incontenence, the falling, or the senility?" That will get them to talk.