What approach is more beneficial when having a conflict confrontation, a calm approach or a angry approach?
People tend to shut down and go deaf when someone is expressing anger at them. It can, sometimes, effectively manipulate people into giving you your own way but it's not a good approach if you are seeking communication of "understanding". I'd go with a calm approach at least a couple of times.
"The way people reacts to others conveys their perceptions of relative value. Higher value people react less to lower value people. Lower value people react more to higher value people. The way we react shows the value differential between people." If you get angry, then you are reacting more. Do you think that the #1 alpha mob boss in the movie "The Godfather" would get angry? No. He has the power to give you a million dollars, or the power to have 5 of his guys slit your throat, chop your balls off and dump you in the river. However, he is way too powerful and way too much of a boss to get angry at you. He would calmly order your hit- or calmly give you his blessing and respect. Same goes with how a celebrity would react, how a president would react, how anyone high value and worthy and desirable, would react. I'm actually a huge supporter of Trump, but this is the 1 thing democrats continually diss Donald Trump about- he reacts so much! And sadly... the democrats are kind of right! Now, he's actually brilliant, rich, powerful, 6 foot tall, and he's a great negotiator. He's gotten some great trade deals done and the economy is booming (or at least it was, until the govt shutdown over the wall, which I completely blame sell-out Nancy Pelosi for.) HOWEVER, Trump's downfall is he doesn't REALIZE this human truism. He reacts too much, when he doesn't NEED to. Now to be fair, the liberal media is so hateful and so disrespectful to a man of his position, that it's almost not surprising how he reacts. I mean, who shows that much hatred to the President of the United States? It's unprecedented throughout history. The disrespect they show to a man of his authority is astounding. But anyway... IFFFFF he had the self control to ignore them and be peaceful, calm, happy, and just smiling to the USA people as the country goes great and economically prosperous... 100% he will win re-election in 2020. But because he lets the lowdown media dogs drag him down to their level, because he lets the bloodthirsty media drag him down to the mud pit, now he actually looks (almost) as bad as they do. And that's their goal! Because a bunch of media jews don't have any shame. Why do they care if they look trashy? They already know they are trashy. Their goal was to destroy the image of the President of the United States and oppose his agenda of MAGA, (which I 100% support that agenda btw), and heck, they're kind of succeeding! Anyway... Apply this lesson to your own life. Be like Trump in the sense of being hard working and winning and being a boss- except dont be like Trump when he Trumps himself and overreacts and gets super whiny and angry about people who hate him. If you become successful, you will ALWAYSSSS have some haters, some losers, some welps who try to get up in your business and bring you down. DO NOT GIVE THEM WHAT THEY WANT- DO NOT LET THEM DRAG YOU DOWN TO THEIR LEVEL. Don't try to be friends with them on facebook. Don't try to talk to them or win their approval if they are a hater- you don't need it. If you're above them, then act like it. Find people worthy to talk to you. I make $191,000 a year, am sober and own a successful large company and have a beautiful classy smart wife, and I have far more haters and far more people who are salty of my success than I had when I was a broke, poor 19 year old kid partying and drinking almost every day. People hate successful people, it's just true, they get jealous. As for this person, figure out what your goal is. Figure out what their goal is. See if you can come to a solution that benefits both of you. But dont react or get crazy or mad. And if they cant see reason- if they are just a hater or a trouble maker- then cut them out of your life and never look back.