Why do I miss my ex so much after 7 months when the relationship was toxic?

3 years and we loved hard and we fought hard. In the end, he was an alcoholic and it became to much for me to handle. Drinking al day long. I never knew which version of him I was going to be dealing with. We became violate towards each other in the end. Verbally abuse was horrible and he was worse, but I wasn’t exactly a victim. All I know is I thought that is being apart would be best and I believe it is, yet 7 months later, I find myself thinking about him everyday, most days 30-40 times a day. I have no contact and don’t look stalk or ask questions to anyone. I have no idea what’s going on in his life and not do I want t know. Yet, my soul hurts and I just wish we could go back to what we had the first 2 years. I miss my best friend and lover. I am dating someone else and he is great, yet sometimes I cry when he isn’t looking because something takes me back and I miss him so much. I did email him around the holidays and didn’t hear back. I don’t think he even cares anymore. I ended it and he felt betrayed. Now I am broken and my soul feels empty. All day everyday. It took me 5 months to even go on a date. I still feel like I am cheating! What is wrong with me?


Some people thrive on drama in their relationships. They know things are wrong and toxic yet for whatever reasons they need the drama. You really need to get some counseling to help you understand yourself better.


Because you were together a long time and humans feed on the level of drama you were having, you got used to it and are missing the action. You need to seek counselling if you can’t get by him alone and it’ll help you make better relationship choices in the future