Paying for the wedding?

I have been told, in a first marriage for both, that the tradition for the bride's parents to pay for the wedding no longer exists when the bride reaches a certain age, and then the couple bear the responsibility for it instead. Is this true, and if so what age is the cut off? I know the couple have the option to assume responsibility, but when is it expected?

Beverly S

It's no longer "expected" for anyone to pay.. If parents offer great, but if they don't the couple has to pay..

Trivial One

Regardless of the bride's or groom's age, the parents never have the responsibility to pay for the wedding. They may choose to, but are not obligated to, even if the bride is young. My sister got married in her 20s: our parents did not pay for her wedding. I got married in my 40s: my parents did not pay for the wedding. You have it backwards: it is not the couple's option to pay, it is the parents' option. If you want to know how much the bride-to-be's parents are willing to contribute to the wedding costs, then she needs to talk with them about it.


"but when is it expected?" This is the key to all of it, because it's the expectation that has changed. Because of external factors (economy, people living longer, couples living together, etc) nobody should expect their parents to pay. In the old days, the bride had this expectation because she went from home to living with her new husband. Obviously, many parents still pay or contribute, and it's fine to accept the money. Otherwise, though, today's couples should be prepared to pay themselves. Also, if parents don't have much money or seem worried about retirement, it would be very unfair to accept anything they offer.

Oh Boy!

The tradition no longer exists for most people, regardless of the age of the bride or groom. If they're adult enough to get married, they're adult enough to pay for it.

Serene E

Tradition was thrown out long ago. Anything and everything goes now


Paying for your own wedding is ALWAYS expected. Regardless of your age, regardless of whether it's your first, second or third wedding.


It has nothing to do with age and everything to do with the fact that it's 2019, and if you can't afford to pay for your own wedding then you can't afford to be married. Parents can help IF THEY WANT TO but they never HAD to


It is never expected for the bride's parents to pay for the wedding. There is no magic age that is the cut off age for the bride's parents paying for the wedding. The couple pays for the wedding themselves. If the parents want to help pay for the wedding that is entirely their choice but not to be expected.


There is no law. Parent decide if they can afford to pay for the weddings of their children . Or if they want to. There isn’t an age limit to helping your children. This is an individual decision.


I don't think there are any absolutes any more. People are getting married later and often live together before they marry. Therefore the couple tends to generally pay for the wedding- all or part. You'd need to talk to your family (both his and hers) to see what they are willing to contribute to a wedding, if anything.


There's no age cutoff, and no couple are entitled to a wedding paid for by the bride's parents. Glad I could clear that up for you.


Traditionally, the bride's parents help pay for the wedding. There is no "cut off age". And there is no hard and fast rule. I suggest you talk to your parents about it. Both of my daughters got married at age 29. My wife and I helped pay for both weddings, and the couples took on some expenses of their own as well.


In this day and age, most couples in their 20's or 30's are paying for their own wedding. If the parents can afford to help out with some of the money, fine, but if both are working then they really should pay for their wedding. There is no "age" thing. Parents can help out if they can afford it.

Common Sense

What teenagers and young adults simply do not understand is that the tradition of the bride's parents paying for the wedding is OVER. You see, back then, brides married early in life because the majority of them had no careers and since there was not birth control, they got pregnant and began raising a family right way while being a stay at home mother. The girls usually lived with their parents until they wed and were not so much college bound, nor did the females have the financial independence they have today. Also worth mentioning, back when the tradition of the bride's parents paying for the wedding, weddings were not all the pomp and circumstance of today's over the top expensive weddings. These days people are spending five dollars for one chocolate covered strawberry and an inexpensive per head meal for a guest averages about $120 per person. You have 100 guests, plus flowers, the dress, the music, the photographer and all that, a wedding costs thousands upon thousands and up to tens of thousands just for one 240 minute reception. Therefore, most parents, who are reaching their retirement age or will be soon enough, cannot shell out that kind of money or they do not have it and need to mortgage their house to get money for the one day party for their little girl, if they give her want she wants. Not fair. Many brides and grooms have to earn their own money to pay for their own weddings. That is the wave of the future as wedding prices are now on steroids and have become a HUGE money making proposition as young ladies and men fall into the wedding trap of overspending. You can have a restaurant, occupied full capacity with 150 people on a Saturday night. Where everyone is ordering whatever they want from the menu, with a staff, bartenders and chefs to accommodate meals and drinks to order. Those meal tickets can range from $15 to $40 per person, plus cocktails. But, you take those same 150 people, the same staff to serve them, and give them just two meal choices and BAMB, the wedding price per person goes up to $150 per person. SO, you see, the wedding industry is a huge money maker. If you wish to get married, get a second and third job to pay for it all. Then, keep those jobs because you will need just as much money to put on a down payment for a house that you spent on your wedding. Your parents are not responsible for your 240 minute reception at thousands upon thousands of dollars. Heck, wedding gowns are in the thousands of dollars. THis is why people are beginning to revolt against the wedding spending out of control and making other, more reasonable financial choices. So can you.


That's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard. Parents paying for the wedding was back in the day when women didn't work but now if you both work you can pay for your own bloody wedding!


Any wedding expense if paid by whoever has volunteered to pay that wedding expense. There is no age related criteria that obliges anyone to volunteer to pay someone's wedding expenses, not even if that someone is ones own child. No matter what ones age, there is no milestone in life so remarkable that it's OK to browbeat, badger, bully, blackmail or otherwise attempt to bludgeon your family into taking on expenses and responsibilities they would rather not take on. It's OK to ASK parents if they might like to get involved in financing your wedding, but not to EXPECT or ANTICIPATE their assistance.


Weddings are way to expansive today. I never heard a cut of date for getting to old. It's more if the family can afford a wedding. My father gave us money and said we could have a wedding or use it for a down payment for house. He gave all his children, both sexes. We all used it for ours weddings. I know parents that will give money toward the weddings, it could be the bride or grooms or both. It's there choice, if they offers. Bride and groom, unless told, should assume they will be paying for their wedding, plan budget base on that. Here's a warning, if you take money, who gives you the money have a say, if they want one. You can't say, it's my wedding, I want it my way. If you take money, you lose 100% control. I know a mother who saved and gave money toward her daughters wedding dress. That was what she could afford. That is fine. Today, it's more what the parents could afford to give, if they pay and how much they could afford.


This is my first time ever hearing this. It might just be the opinion of the person who told you that. Ask that person what the cut off age is, since he / she said that. I suspect the person is thinking age 30, or something like that. Really, there's no age limit to the bride's parents paying for it, and there's no set in stone rule stating that the bride's parents must pay for it in the first place, either. It's just tradition. Really, the couple is responsible for paying for the wedding, period, so I don't know why the bride's parents traditionally pay for it in the first place. But since tradition has the bride's parents paying for it, there's actually no age limit. The couple could be 60 years old, and the bride's parents could still pay for it.


It's 2019. It's ALWAYS expected that the couple pay for their own party. When girls used to LEGALLY be considered the "property" of their fathers, the bride's parents paid for the wedding.. But women have been recognised as "people" in their own right for 100 years. When a legal adult chooses to marry, THEY are responsible for paying for it. Parents may OFFER to contribute, but in modern society, it's NEVER appropriate to have any expectation that parents pay.


I wouldn't expect anything. If i were getting married, I'd ask my parents if they'd pay for the wedding. If they would, ok, if not, well, my guy and i would figure it out


The bride's family never paid for the whole thing, there was also expectations of the groom's family as well. The groom's family traditionally paid for things like the rehearsal dinner, alcohol, flowers, marriage license fees, honeymoon and a couple other things as well. Yes, the honeymoon traditionally the honeymoon was just a night or two, not 2 weeks in Fiji. The bride's family just paid the majority of the expenses. There is no cut off age per se, but times simply have changed. Weddings are a lot more expensive, people are getting married older and more established in life, etc. Back when it was the standard tradition people married quite young (teens) and had no means to pay for anything (which in reality they weren't ready for marriage) and women were often considered property of their parents (hence giving her away). Some parents do still pay for their daughters wedding, some split with the groom's family, some split the costs 3 ways (the couple, groom's parents and brides parents) but the majority pay for their own wedding with little to no help from anyone. My husband and I paid for our own wedding. His parents are very well off and offered to pay for it, but we didn't need them to. My mom was/is a widow on a fixed income, I couldn't justify my mom paying for my wedding when I made more than she did and well I was helping her financially. My husband and I intend to pay for our kids' weddings (regardless of their gender). We have the means to do so and we actually have bank accounts specifically for that for each one of them, that they don't know about. If they decide they want something small or want to use the money for a down payment on a house or something like that, they're free to do with the money whatever they want but it's basically a one time offer. We're not paying for multiple weddings for them and if they go over budget, it's on them.




There is no cut-off age. Traditionally, the bride didn't work, had no income, and lived with her parents until she was married. The wedding was paid for by the bride's parents, along with a dowery, as a way to sweeten the deal to get a good husband. Today, at least in the U.S., both bride and groom are often financially independent when they marry and there is no expectation of anyone else contributing to the wedding. It is up to the individuals involved to discuss this. Many parents still pay for all or part of their daughters' wedding.


In many cases both sets of parents go halves on the wedding costs.


There is mechanism within traditional wedding culture for some magical cut off age when the bride's parents are no longer the financiers. These traditions date from a time when almost no bride had any assets of her own because she was very young. Now that most people don't get married until they're more financially independent those old rules aren't always followed. But is still comes down to what the family is willing and able to do. If you earn a lot but your parents are on a fixed income then you shouldn't expect them to pay for your wedding. A lot of modern couples fund part of their event while still letting both sets of parents contribute what they want to.

Staap It

Hahaha see it seems the women all say the same. For most all of time, and in most all countries of the WORLD the brides family pays. SOME countries a Dowry is required to get the Man's family to take on another burden. The BRIDES family pays the dowry or she will not be accepted, if the dowry falls short. ADDED : Even in this country MANY girls had a "Hope Chest". A Cedar chest often of "valuables" to exchange. That is likely what has evolved into this multiple "shower" thing of today. WHAT A rip off. A shower for this, a shower for that, and then a COUPLE baby showers. All passing the paying the way onto to others. My neighbor use to fret all the time about this. He always said girls cost the family. And become a larger burden as they get older. Girls NEED things boys do NOT. He had 5. You know what he did ..... let them all get FAT, and then pregnant and sent them each to get public assistance. He turned his back on the whole thing. GLAD I do not live in that state any more. In that area people were a bunch of dirt bags. Can't afford to pay the bills to have a baby like normal people. AND THEY ALL KNEW IT but, that didn't stop them. Never even consider how crummy that is. They all stick the doctors and hospitals, then the State. And today that is the way of the world. Most know darn well they can not pay a hospital bill to have a baby. They do it anyway, leave us all holding the bag.