My husband and I had a discussion this morning about his ex. Need your opinion on this?

So my husband and i were talking yesterday about some stuff and his ex came to the talk and i called her something bc I obviously don’t like her bc she had periously disrespectful our marriage and is always causing problems. To make the story short. I called her out of her name out of anger. And this morning we were talking and out of no where he starts an argument for no reason. He started telling me stuff about my past and my ex which never came to the conversation. And he said why did you say that I was with that “the name that i called her” and i said bc it’s true. And i asked him why does it bother him if I wasn’t saying anything about him that it was to her. And he started arguing talking about my past which didn’t even come to the conversation. And i told that if he is defending her and he said “ take it how ever you like” and i said what did you just say? And he said “take it however you like” and i told him that if he still feels something for her to just let me know bc i will not tolerate or so that i know what i have to do. And he said no, he doesn’t care about her. But that didn’t convince me. It really hurt me alot for him to say “take it however you want” what did he mean by that. Idk if it’s just me overreacting or if iam at right to be upset and feel hurt for this.

Answers

Trivial One

I can't even follow what you wrote. You are very immature and should grow up if you expect to stay married.

David

Sigh... We all have a past. We all have a sexual past. If you can't accept that your husband has had sex with girls other than you, then you (personally) should never have gotten married. Insinuating that he still has feelings for his ex is emotional abuse. You (as a wife) are emotionally abusing your husband. YES YOU ARE!!! We all have choices to make. The ex is the ex for a good reason. You are his wife for an even better reason. You want to bring her into your marriage? REALLY?!?!!?!?!?!?!? I think most people who do that sh*t don't even realize how stupid it is. You are your own worst enemy, dear. If he's bringing up stuff from your past, then that's also not OK. But here's the deal...at least ONE of you has to "grow up" and start acting like an adult. Or the marriage will quickly deteriorate. Your choice.

charles

Ok I honestly don’t think he was defending her, he just didn’t like you insulting him and his past choices. The way you said it wasn’t just an insult on her, it was also passively an insult at him. You implied he was weird, bad or low value for having been with her. And yes, that’s an insult. It doesn’t mean he cares about his ex. Personally I think your boyfriend doesn’t give a damn about his ex. He just got offended in the heat of the moment, that’s all. You’re not wrong to want your man to love only you, but at the same time, you need to chill and relax a little bit. Don’t jump to conclusions or be so hot heated either

Patricia

Your ex AND his ex dont need to be topics of conversations or arguments ever. If his ex is a blithering idiot, she is. Why do you let her get to you? She's just bitter and jealous and needs to get over it. Ignore her.

Barb Outhere

Perhaps the words you used actually shocked him, not because of any offense to his Ex, but because he didn't realise that YOU were that kind of person to use that sort of language? Perhaps he also wonders about the level of trust you have in him, or in his ability to handle his past? Do you resent him for even having one? Is this Ex also an ongoing part of his life due to sharing kids with her? Then he wonders if you are going to cause fights every time they have to communicate about them, making everyone else uncomfortable - including any kids involved. Thinking this through not just from where he is coming from, but from where it came from in you might be just as beneficial in this case.

Anonymous

He loved you both, once. Your going after her in front of him diminished what he felt for you. It wasn't a smart move, and while he may not want her back, that doesn't mean he doesn't care about her at all. It was careless and inconsiderate, and extremely immature.

Daisy

Over reacting! LET IT GO! We don't go to "pity parties" anyway. If you do have an issue with her, let your husband deal with her, NOT you.

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