Did my ex dump me because of how I acted during her pregnancy scare?

She was 11 or 12 days late and during that time I wasn't as supportive as I could have been. I said some dumb stuff to her & acted kind of cold. Two days after she got her period we had sex as usual, but I noticed that she looked kind of sad. A week later, she was really late replying to my texts & calls. Eventually I got her on the phone & I could tell she wanted to call things off. She said that I didn't respect her views on not having sex before marriage and that the pregnancy scare was "an eye opener." I knew I was in trouble and managed to win her back by doing something special for her. But her good mood only lasted a few days. In the end, she dumped me. The break up was months ago and I'm trying to get her back, but she won't give me the time of day. I know we had some issues (for example, she has stronger religious views than I do), but I can't help but think that the pregnancy scare is what did our relationship in. What do you guys think?

☆ ♥♥*´`*•.¸★

The answer is in that additional information. It was an eye opener for her and her perspective changed.


I would think that the pregnancy scare was probably the icing on the cake for her. if shes not giving you the time of day then I think you should take the hint and move on yourself. I realize that it is easier said then done


You may have acted like a jerk, but her attitude kind of sucks too. If she was that concerned about not having sex until marriage (which is pointless anyway in my not so humble opinion) then why did she agree to have sex in the first place?


It certainly does sound like that is a huge part of it all. A possible pregnancy can be really scary, especially for someone who is having sex outside of marriage when they come from a community that frowns on that. Basically, she went through the biggest scare of her life, and you showed her who you really were. For a few days she had to live with the really scary reality that she might have to go through the embarrassment of a pregnancy and have her family and friends all judge her for clearly having sex outside of marriage. And the one person that she had hoped would really step up and stand by her and support her through this difficult time made it clear that he thought it was no big deal that she would be going through all of that alone. She also realized the full reality that with an uncommitted partner she would likely be raising the child completely on her own. And if she is religious she probably doesn't see abortion as an option. Basically, when the chips were down you showed her who you really were. She wants and needs someone who will stand by her and be committed to her in her darkest hour. She thought you would be that person, but you weren't. So my question for you is were you showing you who you really were? If it had turned out she was pregnant, would you have run away from the responsibility so fast it would have made her head spin? Or do you just have real difficulty communicating? Were you cold simply because you didn't know what to say or because you weren't interested in commitment or expected her to get an abortion against her religious beliefs? Did you even care about the shame and embarrassment that she would have to endure? If it had turned out she was pregnant, would you have stepped up and supported her in every way both with her friends and her family and with the child? Would you have considered marrying her for her reputation's sake and for her child's sake? If you have no desire to step up, why are you trying to get her back? I admit that she is also responsible in this case. If her morals are that she doesn't have premarital sex and she had premarital sex that is her decision and her responsibility. But if she has woken up to what she wants her morals to be and you aren't willing to respect that or support her when things get tough why would you pressure her into taking you back instead of respecting her wishes? If she only wants to be with a man who actually will step up and be a man when it is needed, she should have the right to demand that. If you genuinely want to step up and show her commitment, you probably actually do have a chance to get her back. Basically, tell her that you want to start the relationship up again without sex and that you are willing to wait for marriage for the sex. And MEAN it. If you aren't willing to do that for her, then you don't love her in the way that she needs and wants to be loved. It's time to get out of her life. If you try to get her to love you and respond to you on your terms you will both just end up resenting each other anyway. And if she does get pregnant you have now brought a child into a toxic relationship. If you love her enough to commit to her, I bet she will have you back if you are willing to prove yourself to her. Otherwise, move on.