How can a man be a dead beat dad if he pays his child support?

I never wanted children so I always used protection with this woman. We had a condom mishap and she got pregnant, and I pleaded with her to have an abortion but she refused. My father even offered to buy both of us new cars if she had the abortion and she refused him as well. The child was born 3 years ago and DNA says it’s mines. I pay $1966 in child support every month and I do not call her or speak to her. I work extra hours in my father’s company to ensure the payment is always there, and I have sacrificed buying exotic items to be responsible. None of this stops her from calling me a dead beat to anyone who will listen or trashing my reputation at will. She stalks the women I date and at times she successfully turns them against me. She has had sex with people I know to get back at me. She writes me long 9 page letters begging me to be a father to a child she knew I never wanted. I am 30 and I am getting gray hair already because of her.


A deadbeat dad is one who doesn't do anything for the child, be it financial or being involved in the child's life. Paying for the child is good but not being in the child's life can make you seem like a deadbeat even though I understand why you aren't in the child's life.


Obviously you're not an involved father, you've opted to have no more responsibility than writing a check once a month. That possibility was a risk she took when you made it clear you didn't want children, but she chose to have the baby and raise it, so if she's mad about it now I can't say I have much sympathy for her. She knew how you felt all along, she chose to continue the pregnancy anyway, and now she's getting a heck of a lot more in child support than most single mothers do. Seems to me like she needs to accept that you're not going to change and move on with her life.


Just because this woman says you're a dead beat father doesn't make it so. If she said you're a giraffe, would you be one? Stop caring what your ex says or thinks about you. And start being involved in your child's life.


You didn't want to be a dad, but you are and nothing is going to change that. Yes you think if you ignore it and let her deal, as you probably see it as the "situation", then you don't have to be a dad. You should go see your child and spend some time with your child. You don't have to go into full dad mode. But at least get some sort of relationship going on. Or you might regret it in the future.

They Pelted Us With Rocks And Garbage

And not one mention of you spending any time with the child.


You need to be more discerning regarding the people you have sex with. You seemed to have chosen to be with someone of little to no character.


There are two ways to be a dead beat dad. One way is not to support the child. You are not that kind of dead beat. The other way is not to be part of the child's life. In that area - you are a dead beat. You are doing NOTHING to be a positive male role model to your child. You are doing nothing to be a father to the child. In that way, you are a dead beat. Doesn't matter if you didn't want the child or not. If you don't want to be a father, then keep your dick in your pants. It is the only way to be sure you never have an accident you didn't want.


Because you aren't bothering to be a parent. Or bothering to grow up. I hope she pressed charges against your Dad for bribery attempts.

Oh Boy!

If you didn't want children, you shouldn't have had sex. Birth control is NEVER 100% effective. I feel sorry for your child.