Why does everyone hate me, bully me, abuse me, & tell me I'm never gonna amount to anything?
The people who like and love you, respect you, and want you -- you haven't met them yet. They are out there. I promise you. The people who are cruel to you are bad people. Learn from them what not to be and you will be a good person. If you can see a therapist, do that. A therapist will be an ally, a friend, someone who who will help you see your strengths, and someone who can help you figure out how to live a better life. At the very least, talk to a smart adult you trust, such as a teacher, a parent, an aunt, a priest about what you are going through. You are depressed, but deal with it because things really will improve.
The 90 Year Old: Homeless, Unemployed, Virgin
We are a shallow society
But yeah what if there isn't anything left after this? Like that's it. You had your chance to be a living thing, a thinking, breathing, feeling creation, and you traded that for nothingness? You think you'll find peace, but if there is no soul or afterlife, then you won't feel peace, it simply won't be there. You won't see blackness, because it simply not in your existence when you cease to exist. Just... Nothingness. Idk that's what keeps me here. The pain sucks. But at least I get to feel it. I mean who wants to be nothing?