Is it respectful if someone answers your texts only until midnight or very late at night?

I’m a girl and speak to this other girl who is nice but I’m starting to think she is not a true friend.. whenever I text her, she only replies very late at night and this has happened several times. She only replies once during the ‘day’ and only answers at night. I’m starting to think she’s not a true friend if she always answers super late. I feel like it’s wasting my time talking to her. I don’t text her at midnight. I text her earlier during the day. Like in the noon or afternoon..yes I know people have a life and can’t anser all day. But I don’t want to be so low on the priority list that they don’t want to answer me..I feel like it’s rude. I KNOW that people cannot be there for you all the time and answer right away. Things are good in person and she's very nice..but I don't want for it to be like what the anonymous answerer shared , because someone who only answers very very late shows that they don't care for you as much and act as if you're low on their priority list... I don’t want people getting the wrong idea. I was never judging her. Read the description before attacking me and jumping into conclusions about me judging her as a friend. I already mentioned I know that people can’t message you or be on their phones all the time but she would take a day to reply to a text and sometimes it’s too late when she replies. So I was thinking of just not texting her like one of you mentioned. I feel like I’m the one trying to initiate and keep the friendship active.


She probably has a life beyond her phone. You should emulate her.


People who text me are lucky if I respond within a week. I can't be bothered with texting. If you want to contact someone urgently why not use the telephone function? You have the advantage of an immediate conversation. Just because you can communicate with people instantly does not mean they have to respond instantly. She is just responding when it is convenient. If it was urgent, you would have telephoned her.


You don't know what she may be dealing with at the moment. It is impossible to gauge someone's intentions from their text habits. How are things when you hang out in person? If you don't hang our in person, perhaps you are not as close to her as you think you are.


YOU need to put your STUPID iPhone down and STOP bothering others! There is NO law stating a person MUST be on their stupid iPhone 24/7. GROW UP SNOWFLAKE.


Sounds like it's a task she leaves to do before going to sleep. Stop texting her until she first texts you and assess the situation from then on.


Do you actually NEED to text her at all?

Kiss Me Kate

Why don't you ask her why she responds like that? you know--talk to her face? you have no idea why she does that--it may have NOTHING to do with how she feels about you. for instance---assuming you are teenagers--she may bee banned from using her phone---she may have to wait til her parents go to sleep...her parents may not know she even has a phone...she may have to share the phone with a sibling--and she got the fuzzy end of the lollipop and can't use it til won't know until you ask.


It's perfectly okay. She's not obliged to get right back to you! Maybe she actually has a life? Maybe she's doing things? Maybe she's busy? Not everyone has to be at your beck and call 24/7. You sound very young, very shallow and very selfish. If you need to ask her something really urgently - and I mean URGENTLY, like life or death - phone her. Otherwise, be patient and don't expect the world to revolve around you.


No, it isn't disrespectful. It sounds to me as if late at night is when she likes to have texting chats. If you only like to have texting chats in the daytime, then all that tells me is that you two aren't compatible friends for a relationship that exists by text. However, since you say you get along fine in person, then there is no reason to change how you act toward her in person. Just keep your relationship in that form, and don't bother trying to chat with her by texts.

Jimmy C

This is why I do not text anyone. I have more important things to do than waste my day texting. If I want to talk to anyone I use the phone to make a phone call and talk, when it is convenient for both of us.

Bent Snowman

"But I don’t want to be so low on the priority list that they don’t want to answer me..I feel like it’s rude." You're basically saying "is someone who isn't as interested in me actually being disrespectful"? Right? That is what you've twisted this into. It's not rude and it's not disrespectful to be low on someone else's priority list, it's their list, not yours. You can have low priority contacts too.


Yes, unless they know that you're not awake and socializing after midnight.




Talk to her. Searching questions but not too obvious. Figure it out. If it’s on purpose and you don’t like it then drop her. You’re young. Find people who appreciate you.


Well, does it need an urgent response? Some like texting and others don't. What sort of friend are you to judge by their texting habits anyway? Just because someone texts you doesn't mean you have to respond anyway.

Question Queen

She probably works late. But then again, she might be a fake friend.


Maybe she's busy during the day and she answer when she's home and can actually respond.


It's irrespectful. Some people should read "texting for dummies" if it existed. They're not interested in a friendship. They're busy with other friends or family. If it happens many times, she's telling you she doesn't want a friendship. I personally stop texting them and in fact block them.


shes probably too busy during the day and only has tinne at night, just shut your phone off at night, she will get the nnessage


The reason why you think she's not a 'true friend' is because you are not being a true friend. Exhibit a little patience with your friend, that's what true friends do. And be happy, at least she sends a text, so what if it's late, maybe that's the only time she has to do it.


I rarely text, but you either need to block this person OR turn your phone off at night so you can sleep, then turn it back on in the morning. Rude is rude.


Ask her about it directly and then make the decision


Texting has not been around long enough for there to be any agreed-on etiquette rules for it. So, no, we can't call her a bad friend because of her texting habits. All we can say is that her texting habits are different from yours. And since you can't force other people to change, you'll have to change your expectations and your approach.


It is very irrespectful. I have a situation with a friend exactly like. I would text her during the day and she would answer my text at 11pm. One night, at 11:45 pm. I never answer her at that time of course as I was already sleeping. So, I would answer her in the morning. I did that a few times, I tolerated her behavior. Then later I would pay her with the same medicine and did not text her until ten hours later. (Some people don't realize of their behavior unless the same thing is done to them.) But, eventually I got tired of that and I don't bother with her anymore. I don't text her at all any more. When I see her I say hi and am nice to her the same as if I would treat her as my neighbor.