Son not doing well in school - lazy?

So my son is 13, almost 14. He has an iep and has a lot of accommodations. He has become lazy and lies to me about schoolwork. I got an email today telling me about the lack of work he’s doing, he’s just doodling and taking the notes that his para writes for him and turns them in as his own. We have a trip scheduled next month so he’d miss a week of school. Do I pull him out of the trip and make him attend school while his siblings go away? He’s on an iep because he has autism, but he’s on the very low end of the spectrum. You wouldn’t realize that he’s autistic until you were deep in conversation with him about cars.
Answers

Knightingale

So he has Aspergers. Low end of autistic spectrum. He probably was pretty much genius level until his sudden bout of laziness? My son was in AIG..gifted program.. And when he hit about 12 he suddenly got lazy. His aig teacher said most of her students do when they hit puberty. He has Aspergers so there was no excuse. Let him go on the trip but get allll the make up homework from his teachers. His days indoors and evenings should be spent doing nothing but school work. Check over his work with your husband. You don’t have to waste time on every question.. You both choose two questions per assignment then google the question to find the correct answer to see if he actually tried. If he got 50% wrong between the both of you(all 4 questions) then he redoes the entire paper.

roberto

kids not behaving up to snuff,impulse control,,treatment is either pharma based or behavior mod coaching type therapy. no guarantees offered because the medical profession does not have complete understanding of the brain,nor of parkinsons,nor womens' persistent blues after giving birth. alternative medicine may help,( out of pocket costs for initial workup can be considerable) specific foods and groups may prove to be triggers,the central disagreement betw altcare drs & mainstream medicine which you are already familiar with,on brains reacting to foods,,'no way' says the mainstream bluecoat,,'impossible' 'never proven' translation= he know nothing about what they do, why they do it,or the treatment rationale,,that is called ignorance. another complicating factor,is jihading hormones in 13-14 year olds,is kids already with long standing autism diagnosed things become doubly difficult. the objective ought to be doing all you can now so kiddo can sustain himself when you & the spouse are in wheelchairs with tubes & a carry around oxygen supply for the wheelchair,so that the kid does not put you there prematurely,also so junior does not become dependent on a sibling. good luck

jennifer

is it possible that wile hes doodling he could be trying to bock other stimuli that could cause him to be distracted, i tend to do things that that as well and im autistic. also have you have him tested for add or adhd? its a very common cor-morbid ans some say it could be connected in some way try to observe him more don't punish him for something he cannot control or may need to do to block out stimuli he may be trying his best to concentrate.

james

Send him up to herd goats in the mountains for a few weeks. Once they see what not having a education leads to. Many improve.

Simply

you need to schedule a new IEP meeting and discuss dealing with the behavior. you need to try to determine the cause and an appropriate solution. maybe he needs sensory breaks. maybe he is acting like a normal teenager and needs discipline. for people with autism, and even neurotypical people, rewarding appropriate behaving works better than punishment ADHD is HIGHLY over diagnosed in the general population. It is even worse among people who are autistic. attention problems and fidgeting are part of autism for some people and not necessarily also ADHD it could even be a simple thing like a light is buzzing and distracting him.

Eva

If he's on the low end, why is his para writing his notes for him? Perhaps he has a few too many accommodations. Cancelling his trip could backfire, as I would expect he would have a very violent reaction to that. He needs to be held accountable however. Limit or deny his electronic devices at home, or something else that he likes to do. Make sure you explain thoroughly why you are taking this action.

zipper

SOUNDS LIKE ME! I have dialectal, A real good eye exam may be needed here. Also he just mite be BORDER!

Mamawidsom

I suspect this is a troll post, but if not, then step one is taking a more active role in monitoring and working with your child at home and discussing the situation with your own private therapist. If your child is autistic and needs an IEP and an in-classroom aid, then you should also have the child in therapy with an autism specialist.

Gypsyfish

Maybe the fact that you scheduled a vacation in the middle of the school year is why he's not taking school seriously- you're certainly not. His para should not be handing him the notes to turn in, for starters. "Notes" implies that the teacher is doing a lot of lecturing- that's not the best way for him (or anyone) to learn. Try to use incentives instead of punishments.