16 year old with strict, controlling parents ruining my life!?

I'm a 16 year old girl and my parents are so strict and basically CONTROL MY LIFE and its just getting worse and I can't deal with it. I'll explain why: 1. They put this app on my phone that restricts my phone use to 1 hour a day. I get that for a 12 year old but I am 16 years old and my mum said I will have it on my phone next year too when I am 17 YEARS OLD! WTF tell me if it's just me or if that is messed up 2. I'm NEVER allowed to parties. Sure some of the parties have alcohol at them and thats one of the reasons I'm not allowed, but I know better than to get drunk. And if I did get drunk? I would learn from it. Every teenager goes through that! 3. MY MUM IS SO STRICT ON M GRADES. all last year she yelled at me saying I was "getting dumber each year" and compared me to my best friend saying she was so much better than me. However my grades are actually really good! Last year I finished 5th overall in my year academically. yet I still get so much **** and put under so much pressure to be smarter 4. they physically hurt me. Like if I haven't done something they've asked I'll get screamed at and hit or kicked 5. And finally there's the verbal abuse. I keep a list/a diary of all the things they've said to me. My mum has called me a slut, a dumb *****, a waste of space, waste of a life. Constantly now, I feel sad. I feel worthless and like my life has zero point. What can I do? Pls tell me if this is normal parenting thanks so much Got some more examples, couldn't fit it above. so my "bedtime" is 10pm (I'm 16 and have a bedtime yep) and anyway if I'm in bed later than 10 I lose my phone and can't leave the house the next day. The other night I'd been doing homework and I got into bed at legit 10.08 and the next day I was grounded! For staying up 8 minutes later to do homework!!! I just can't win. do you think I should try and sneak out and go to a party? Should i rebel? or just keep dealing with it? idk if i can :(((


Stop being a brat and be thankful for them paying everything you need

d j

Be patient and wait for the day when you move out of this house. In fact, try to be independent. Learn to do household stuff like cleaning, cooking, laundry and shopping for groceries so that when you get the opportunity to be on your own, you're ready for it. Let that happy planning for independent life be your motivation. Then all that control and strictness won't bother you too much.


If your parents are calling you names and putting their hands on you, that's not strict. It's ABUSE. Please call Child Services or the police.


tell CPS about how ur parents are treating u.


not gud


Call CPS. They will find you a place to stay where you will be treated like a human being.

Linda S

Sounds like your parents are real involved as parents should be. If they are so mean why do you have a phone in the first place. Bet they require you to do good in school, clean your room help with chores. Bet they don't let you stay out late, or do drugs or drink. Shameful. OMG Parents who actually care. You should be proud.


If they are that abusive im surprised they let you have a phone to start with. Rules oh no really? We have all had them so deal with it. There are boundaries that we cant cross and we should respect the house rules. When you move out you can go to all the parties you want to and use your phone whenever. But guess what you will have to pay for everything. But if they are abusive you dont need to be in that home , but if they are not and your lying about it you should be ashamed.


I agree with the phone thing because nobody should be spending that much time on their phone anyway, you're supposed to be doing things such as going bowling or hanging out with friends at the pool. The party thing really depends because if It's an unsupervised party or the haven't met the person's parents then yes I agree that you shouldn't be there in the first place, especially if alchohol is involved, However if the parents are people that they know and trust then that's being strict. As for everything else well if It's true then your parents need serious help because that's a form of verbal abuse.


Hi love! I'm 19, I still live with my over controlling parents. I can relate to you more than you will know. Also I hope you disregard 99% of these answers. A bunch of trolls and 53 year olds who haven't woken up and realized society has shifted immensely since 1974. My parents too, have (and still are) over baring in the control category. The only reason I still live under the same roof as them is because A: I cannot afford to pay for my college and rent for an apartment at the same time, and B: Because I realized that although their way of parenting seemed to prove the opposite, they actually did and do everything to this day because they have tremendous love for me. I am not condoning their behavior, because it is over the top, and has done me some harm. But I do understand the motive behind their behavior. They want to protect me, they want to better me, and they love me. Their method of showing it, invoked a LOT of control over my life, it tormented me internally and caused me so much pain and confusion. It still hurts me to this day. But it is easier now, because I understand them. Sadly, a lot of parents do not realize the pain they present to their children when protection becomes over protection. A Helmet is good, but it can cause more damage then it prevents when it's on too tight. My advice to you is to analyze. Think. Contemplate for a while. What is your parents motives? Why do they invoke so much control? What do they gain? You need to determine if they act out of love, or if there's something else going on. Be careful though, its hard to decipher the love out of the pain they may not intend to put you through. Unfortunately a lot of parents project their own insecurities into their children, hence the grades thing. Its possible your mother is afraid you will lack success if you do not achieve high grades. Honestly, to me, it sounds like your parents have good intentions, but their whereabouts in the control factor is putting you in a bad environment, and taking away your ability to be a kid. They're unfortunately, in my opinion, doing it all wrong. Instead of building trust, connection, and communicating with their children to build a safe and open environment, they are forming a child with mastermind plans to try and obtain what they feel they are lacking. I do not and will not condone the name calling and physical violence. That is something you need to think about. If it is outrageous, you do need to get help and get out of there. CPS is no joke though, the foster care system is no walk in the park. I would recommend thinking hard on this one. I'd recommend seeking advice on a chat therapy website: blahtherapy.com There you can communicate and offer more details and get a handful of opinions <3 A good option could be sitting down with your family, and having a heart to heart. Understand them and they may try to understand you. Maybe suggest you all seek counseling or therapy together. If I was in your shoes, here is what I would do: -Get a job. Get a craft,. Find a way to get cash so you are not stuck in my position. Go make some money and PUT IT AWAY. So the second you turn 18, you're financially secure enough to get yourself out of there. Put your time into securing cash. -Find things that make you happy to dedicate your time to. It'll make life pass faster and your life easier. Find an outlet for peace. Mine is editing and film making. Maybe yours is basketball, writing, etc. Find a solstice. -Maybe see if you could catch a breather and stay with a relative or somewhere else for a while and see how things go? -Rules were made to be broken. No, this is not you're green light to go to a party, get drunk, and try some xanax. I do not feel guilty breaking my parents rules and going behind their back because I have high moral judgment for my decisions. Make your decisions based upon right or wrong, not based upon their need for control. Keep in mind I am also 19; in no way do I mean to put you down, but I may have a slightly larger moral sense of right and wrong because of my age. It's very easy for a 16 year old to be influenced. I was one. Be careful <3 Rebel quietly. For example: Like I said, my parents still have rules over me. I lie to my parents and tell them my boyfriends mom is home when I go over and that we hang out with her, she keeps an eye on us, etc. My boyfriend is 21 and lives on his own. It is so important that you don't put yourself on the wrong path. I do not want you to make bad decisions, but I do encourage you to live a little! Parties are not as fun as they seem. They're fun for five minutes, until it gets busted by cops. Even if you didn't have a drop of alcohol, your still guilty by association. Be safe, be smart. It does get better. I wish you all the best <3


2 more years and you are free. I require nothing less than an A from my teens and I require them to take college level courses. I will NEVER allow my teens to go to a party.. PERIOD. However, my kids have been allowed to drink at home since they were very little. Wine coolers at first but my daughter has a taste for spiced rum. She’s not allowed a lot but she has had a few shots on occasions since she was 12. It’s so common here that my mom (there grandmother) freaked out when she watched my 16 year old pour herself a mixed drink and it confused my daughter. My teens don’t have bedtimes unless there is an important event the next day. I haven’t grounded them since they were preteens. I don’t restrict gaming or phone time. I don’t let my daughter go where she wants alone but she can with her Christian friends and her brother. Why am I lenient? Because my kids have proven themselves trustworthy. I am NOT the norm though.. Your parents are.


just calling you nannes is verbal abuse, that nnight be enough for cps to put you elsewhere


They're just trying to protect you. Trust me on this. Those parties that you missed were boring anyway. In six months, no one will remember that party. As far as the phone goes, so what? It's not a Right & it interferes with you developing relationships face to face. But, if you can't live with that, join the British Navy. You're old enough. The Israeli Army will take you. too.





The Lord Humungus.

So don't carry a phone. If someone tries to control you, the answer is to not care about the handle they use on you.


IF I believed all your bullshit I would say thank you god another set of parents who care. You need boundaries and curfews at your age. The phone thing is great because you do not need your ear tied to a phone you need to be studying. You do not need to be at any party where alcohol is being served up like water. Since I do not believe the hitting and kicking crap you post then there is nothing for CPS to do in the case of parents who give a damn.

Marie And Alan

It sounds as if you have sensible,, caring parents. There is more to life than social media. You have the chance to discover that. Why would you need the chemical comfort of alcohol? Can you not face life with your own inner resources? The onlooking most learn from getting drunk is that nobody learns from getting drunk. The approach about grades is not wise. .... but probably well intentioned. Maybe if you put in more effort,your grades would improve....then yo both benefit. If they actually are physical towards you, speak to a trusted adult relative Sad that they verbally abuse you; even sadder that you take the immature approach of keeping a diary. It seems that all of you have some maturing to do.

Pearl L

just calling you nannes is verbal abuse, that nnight be enough for cps to put you elsewhere


You probably are getting dumber every day. Both you and your parents. You see, English people are stupid, mkay? So when you act like that stupid rules get put into place, and then you start acting stupid, and then you fit the English stereotype.


Murder them in their sleep