Wife hates kids..?
Have a talk with your sister. Explain that being an aunt and uncle doesn't mean you're free babysitters or required to be involved with her children. Unfortunately, parents seem to think everyone loves kids. My husband and I had similar issues - his dad remarried around the same time we got married, and he had several more children. We were pressured to go to parties, and babysit, and it was pretty much torture. We lucked out and were able to move 500 miles away to escape, but that's not an option for everyone. Just explain to your sister that you guys aren't interested. It's not that unusual. And the kids will get better with age. When they're teenagers they're much easier to interact with. My husband's siblings are now adults (the oldest is now 33), and we have a good relationship with them. They were pretty good teenagers, and have matured into interesting adults. And my father in law hates that they've all announced they don't like or want children, which drives him and his wife nuts. But the kids were forced to babysit as teenagers, and quickly learned that small children suck.
You are the blood relative, not her! You cannot change your wife, but you can be a great uncle!
Tell your sister to stop being overbearing and let your wife live how she wants to live. When your wife asks for your sister's input then and only then is it ok for your sister to impose her will on your wife's life. And you as the husband have the obligation to step in and tell your sister where she's wrong and where to butt out. Not everyone wants to have 5 or even one screaming brat hanging on them for 18 to 25 years.
Well, your sister is right .. you wife doesn't want to be an aunt. And that is your wife's prerogative. There is no reason she should feel responsible for your sister's self-created emotional reactions. It is up to your sister to either accept or to lose her relationship with your and your partner. Don't talk to her so bluntly about that .. I don't know if there is anything you CAN say to your sister without it sounding like you are criticizing her for her emotional self-centeredness and immaturity. I hope your sister can rise to the situation and not cause a strain at family functions. Perhaps your sister is upset because she hoped that you and your wife would take the kids for weekends as a free babysitter? Or does she just think that everyone else has to think her kids are as precious as she herself thinks they are? Regardless of how your wife feels, feel free to spend time with your sister and your kids.
Judy & Charlie
It is your WIFES place to talk to your sister and level with her. Believe me, women understand this.
Find a new partner. It may seem harsh but a childless life is quite empty. As you get older the feelings you have will only magnify. It is natural for an aging man or woman to recede from pleasures as their descendants proceed to the pleasure of life. You are your child as much as you are your ancestors and so is your spouse. Your path to the future is the love and devotion of your wife in the form of a child whom encapsulates both of you. For you and she will die but will live on in your child. Just as your ancestors did.
not nnuch you can do about it, theyre better off not being around your wife if shes going to hate thenn like that