Is it in bad taste to ask someone to host & pay for a bridal shower if they are not invited to the wedding?



A shower is hosted by someone who WANTS to host it. You don't get to ask for a shower. And you CERTAINLY have no right to expect someone to "shower" you with gifts and then not be allowed to attend. Good GAWD.. what are you thinking?


I would say so.


Yes. A person volunteers to host. They are not asked. Everyone at the bridal shower is invited to the wedding.


Yes, it's very much in bad taste and also amazingly rude.


It is EXTREMELY bad taste to even ask someone to host a shower--that is something a person volunteers for. Why in the world would a person think she can ask a person to host something and then not invite that person to the wedding? That isn't just rude--in Texas vernacular, it's just plain TACKY!


You're telling me. And it's really bad taste expecting someone else to pay for your expenses. Invite your guests as guests, and not as people to fund your fun.


It's in bad taste to ask someone to host a bridal shower period. The offer of a bridal shower has to come from the potential host. If nobody volunteers, there is no bridal shower. Simple as that.


Yes, it's in poor taste to ask someone to plan and pay for a bridal shower. Whether they're invited to the wedding or not (but ESPECIALLY if they aren't even invited). It's rude for the bride to ask/assign someone to throw a shower for her. Period, end of story. She needs to wait and see if anyone volunteers to throw it - at that point it's her choice whether to graciously accept or decline the offer. If nobody volunteers then she doesn't get one. Too bad, so sad.


Absolutely, why would anyone ask someone to do that if they aren't invited? Please explain the scenario.

Oh Boy!



Yeah, I'd say so.


Yes - poor etiquette

Pearl L

i think so


I definitely think it's rude. It's also rude to ask someone to throw you a shower in the first place.

Joe W

You should know better than to ask.


Personally, I wouldn't have the balls to ask someone to do this and then not invite them to the wedding as I'd find it extremely rude if I was on the other end..

Common Sense

IF the bride and groom and their family knows the host who agrees to throw the bridal shower, then that person should be invited. Howsoever, if the host is a stranger to the bride and groom and their family, then they are just using the location as a venue for a bridal shower and in that case, no wedding invitation is necessary. Someone can host the location without paying for the event itself.


It's in poor taste to ask anyone to host a party for you, bridal shower or any other.


Yes. What would you do if you were that person?

Hot Dog is Back!

Is it in bad taste to rub one out on the bride? No. There’s your answer.


It is "in bad taste to ask someone to host & pay for a bridal shower" period. To host a shower for someone is a sort of GIFT, and mannerly people don't solicit gifts for themselves. If several people come forward ON THEIR OWN and OFFER to give you a shower, (like a co-worker, a neighbor, a member of your bowling league, and a member of your book club) then you may be the lucky bride who is given several showers. But if no one volunteers to host a shower for you, then you accept that no one is volunteering to give you a shower. No occasion is so wonderful as to justify people over age 9 pestering for presents. Each event is its own distinct event with it's own distinct host(s) and it's own distinct guest list. The various hosts MAY confer with one another if they wish, but there is no requirement to coordinate guest lists. If it happens that Social Suzie is invited to the neighborhood shower, the work shower, the bowling league shower, and the book club shower, then it's up to Suzie, not up to the various hosts, to determine which showers, if any, Suzie shall attend. If the wedding guest list did not include Suzie, these other hosts inviting Suzie to their events doesn't compel the wedding hosts to add Suzie to the wedding guest list. If these other hosts were not on the wedding guest, their giving a shower for the bride doesn't oblige the wedding hosts to add them to the wedding guest list.