Is it ok for to have a simple wedding (in a nice restaurant with just the immediate family & a few very close friends) that we can afford?

Instead of taking out a loan to make a large wedding (for all of our friends & relatives) in a fancy place. (The fancy wedding will only last a few hours & it'll take a few years to pay off the loan for the wedding)


Nobody, repeat NOBODY should be ashamed to have the style of wedding they can afford. No-one should go into debt to entertain. If what you can manage is a restaurant meal for six close relatives, or tea and sandwiches for a dozen friends, or a cookout for as many as fit in your backyard, then that is absolutely, 100% OK.


Ok with who? The bride and groom decide what their wedding celebration is going to like and how much they spend. As long as it is ok with the wedding couple, it is ok

i + i

Yes, OF COURSE it is okay. We didn't even do a restaurant -- both the wedding and the reception (which was just snacks, no food) was held in the back yard of my father-in-law, and we only had around 30 guests. [almost 40 years ago, still married]


I don't see why not.


Have a simple wedding! Some people get married at the courthouse, go off on a trip with their spouse, and come back and celebrate with family and friends at someone's house with a BBQ! I mean you can do it as cheaply as you want to!


Going into debt for a party is the dumbest idea ever. Have the wedding you can afford.


Yes it's fine, you don't have to go into debt over a wedding. Do what you can afford or what you want. Just let your partner know that you want a simple small wedding and make sure they're okay with that. You will have to find venues that will cater to smaller weddings. My wedding was similar. We had the wedding and reception in a reception room in a hotel's restaurant with about 40 guests. I didn't want to be overwhelmed with planning a big wedding and we don't know hundreds of people.


Yes of course it's fine. And it would be silly to borrow money for a party. The marriage is the important part, not the wedding.


Sounds like an awesome plan to me.


That would be much preferred over going into debt for something that amounts to just a big party. You'll still be just as married whether you mortgage your financial futures or not.

Jerry S

yes, great idea.


Sounds like a great plan


I went to courthouse, ate at restaurant. Saved money for modest honeymoon. Best decision ever!


YES! that's how it should be. It should not put you in debt. It should be an intimate this with a few close family and friends


Your wedding is entirely up to you. If you're happy with a simple wedding - then it's perfect.


I think you mean the reception. A wedding can take place at the courthouse or outside in a park with an officiate that preforms the wedding. We had our reception in a restaurant with a few friends and immediate family. We paid for our kids and our meal and the rest paid for their own meals. It was nice and a lot of fun. If you go to a restaurant make it clear that each will pay for their own meals.

Coach Simon

Very sensible!


It doesn't matter how big, or how small your wedding is. It's your wedding, and it's about you and your soon to be spouse. My husband and I spent a total of $2000 (max, if we even spent that), and we had our ceremony done at my church (no cost), with his family and mine. My mom paid for the decorations ($400, total), and we made the invitations ourselves (no cost), and the only major purchase was my dress ($1200) and then we went to dinner where we got a discount because it was our wedding. I wanted a bigger wedding; however, a small, intimate wedding is perfectly fine, because then you don't have to worry about having to go from one end of the reception to the other to talk to people and be congratulated. It's entirely up to you and your spouse, no one else.


Yes, sounds reasonable and best of all, affordable. It's your day, you and your other half do as your hearts desire.


It's sensible. It's better to borrow money to get a mortgage. One day the house will be paid for, and you won't have to pay rent.


Of course. If that type of wedding would make you happy, go for it. Small, affordable weddings are great because then you can put more money towards your dream honeymoon


If you're happy with a simple wedding, I'd go for it. No point in spending tons of money on something you don't want to do, then having to pay it off. That's my view and, if I get married one day, I want a simple one, too. So, I've though a lot about this topic.

Bill G

It is not only OK. It is also the smart thing to do if you and your future spouse are happy with the arrangement. Your marriage will start off in a better place if you don't go tens of thousands of dollars into debt for a large wedding. My wife and I were married years ago at the house of a friend of her's from church. The woman's husband was a pastor and he married us. There were only a few people there, but it was a wonderful wedding.


Absolutely! Your wedding is what you want it to be and it doesn't have to be extravagant. There are some lovely restaurants around that would make beautiful settings.


Of course it's OK. But it's also OK to have a wedding in a large but un-fancy place that you can afford, with just cake and punch afterwards. You might want to check into that possibility, if it's to your taste.


Of course it's ok to do this. In fact, the wording in your question implies you already know that, and you know why so many people are gravitating towards these types of weddings.


If you mean "Does etiquette require us to have a fancy wedding with a large guest list?" then the answer is a resounding "NO." It is not incorrect to marry privately. It is not incorrect to celebrate quietly with just a few intimates, nor is it incorrect to skip the celebration entirely. If you mean "Does my family have to be OK with it if we choose to have a small wedding?" then the answer is also a resounding "NO." If your family considers it an important family tradition to have a big "everybody gets to see everybody" type wedding, they might feel affronted, even angry, if you don't do as they expect. My thought is that extended family members who are wonderfully anxious for a couple to have a big wedding should be putting money where mouth is, as in "If you two want to have a big wedding, you can count on your Aunt Mary and Uncle Joe to pay for the booze."


Of course it's ok. Why on earth did you think that you were somehow required to take out a loan, and/or have a big expensive party? If you want to get married then you have to get a marriage license and an officiant, and however many witnesses your state requires. And if you want to invite people to your wedding then you also need chairs, food and drinks for every single person in attendance. How you choose to do all of this is up to you. As long as you seat and feed your guests, you've fulfilled the requirements.

Suzy Q

Of course. In fact it would be monumentally stupid to take out a loan for what's basically a party. We spent about $2000 on our wedding. A standard ceremony at city hall, then we and our 60 or so guests walked a few blocks to a bar-restaurant where we had an area of the dining room reserved for free. The restaurant's profit came from drink sales. We had an open bar, but with an upper limit to make sure we wouldn't overspend. And we had some snacks served. And then it was just us, our witnesses and immediate family who went to a private room upstairs (still free) for dinner. That's what we could afford, and we had a blast. If we had been able to afford less, we would have invited fewer guests and still had a blast.

Barb Outhere

Sure it is, What is good for the couple is what the wedding should be. Hopefully the opinion of others is never more important than the opinion of the couple getting married.