Teen daughter refuses to let me have happy marriage with new husband?

My daughter is an only child from my first marriage. There is so much back drama there that I don't think I can get into it all. Long story short, I remarried, and we had another child 11 years younger than her. My husband has done everything for her. He provides, stays out of her business, let's me parent, and pretty much lets her just be her snotty self. I'm not saying that he hasn't made some bad choices on his reactions to her misbehavior (he tends to slam doors or if he sticks up for me it is usually just to tell her he's had it). But all in all he has tried his hardest to be supportive of whatever is needed. She recently has been horrible. Very disrespectful, rude, back talking, having manic tantrums and just a selfish brat. She is almost 18. I had enough and I told her to go live with her father because I won't tolerate it. She did but now constantly tells me that my priorities should be to her not to him. I'm just tired of it all. She is literally trying to split my husband of 8 years apart. She is extremely manipulative. I just don't know what to do on this. We have tried counseling but she just manipulates them as well and tells them what she thinks they want to hear. She flat out lies to them in front of me. Do I just cut her off?


Tell her to call you when she can be respectful and when she can make you a priority.


She doesn't have to like your husband, you know. You chose him, not her, and if after 8 years of knowing him she STILL doesn't like him, that's probably never going to change. Thus, what you should doing is keeping your relationship with your husband and your relationship with your daughter separate. Ask her where SHE wants to live. If SHE feels she can't peacefully co-exist with your husband, then she can continue living with her dad, and you and she can spend time together one-on-one without your husband. Maybe she has been bratty in the past, but she's almost an adult now so if you want any kind of relationship with her at all, you're going to have to accept her dislike of her stepfather and stop trying to force a family relationship that will never exist.


Tell her with her attitude she's on her own come the day she turns 18. < She is extremely manipulative. < You obviously recognize it, nothing says you have to engage in her games.


Don’t cut her off. I understand how she feels because I was in a similar situation. Try and compromise and constantly remind her that she’ll never be replaced and that you love no matter what. You should also bring up the behavioural difficulties because if she’s nearly 18 she needs to become more mature cuz she won’t make it in the harsh world we live in. -Eden


I can imagine that you are very tired of her. Obviously her bahaviour is out of control. No, she is not your first priority. Not at this age anyway. You are married and your husband and you need to stay together and work together. Don't give in to her tantrums and discipline her appropriately. These days you can google about anything and I am sure there is some advice . She's old enough to have a job and start saving and be responsible. Parenting is not an easy thing but being persistent and standing your ground is important. You have told her to live with her father and that is a good idea. Her father may be able to settle her down.


After all this time, it's up to her. Set the expectation for her behavior and hold her to it. She will either comply or you are going to have to cut her off. She has had her way for far too long to change without radical and consistent behavior from you. Hopefully your relationship isn't beyond repair but it certainly won't be easy or quick. Best of luck!

Ghost Of Christmas Past

Throw her out. Tell her you can resume contact once she has a better attitude but you are not prepared to tolerate her current behaviour.

Oh Boy!

I guess we need to know what's she's upset about first.


No 18 year old can "split" a good marriage apart. How is that possible? and she doesn't even live with you according to this story.




Since she has been staying at her father's house she still comes to me for everything, buying her things, appointments, school, etc. I don't mind helping her but she is just so mean with how she treats all of us then turns right back around and expects me to do what ever she asks. When I tell her no and to ask her father she refuses to ask him for anything. I know she is hurting from something but it doesn't give her permission to **** on me and the rest of the family. I told her this and she tries to tell me that I have no idea what is going on. But when I ask her to explain...it all comes out mainly as someone who needs to stop feeling self entitled, and pull up our big girl pants, **** or get off the pot and build a bridge and get over it. I guess I'm just to hard skinned to be able to understand why it isn't o.k. for your parent to say...do you homework right this second or no phone. She says I do nothing for her but that doesn't include the car I bought her so she could have the freedom to get a job and see her horse whenever she wanted. Or purchase all the dier needed junk from the stores and clothes that are spread around her floor. My parents wouldn't have whooped my butt if I was like that but it would be because I knew I was not their equal. No matter what I do or say, she thinks she is my equal even when it comes to parenting my younger child. I look at other sites and they say blood comes first. But I believe blood will never go away and I will always love her and be here if she needs something. I just don't know.

Jimmy C

Boot her out and send her off to her dad.