Ex boyfriend isn't speaking to me and I'm pregnant?

My ex and I recently broke up and the last conversation we had was him talking about suicide. (Backstory: he is verbally and emotionally abusive, has trust issues, drinks a lot, accused me of cheating daily even though I constantly showed proof of me not being a cheater. So eventually I got tired of being hurt by him and broke up). I did contact his family and tell them what was going on with him talking about suicide and they said they'd keep an eye on him. He blocked me on messenger and then unblocked me only to deactivate his fb account later that day, he also hasn't been on Instagram either (he created the account to watch what I was doing and followed all the accounts that followed me). Even though we broke up he said he wanted to be in the baby's life and wanted to come with me to appointments but he went completely silent. He doesn't have phone service and relies on wifi wherever he can get it so contacting him by phone is hard. I don't know what to do, I have a lot of appointments for the baby coming up and I don't know if he'll be going to any of them now. I'm worried about him dying, and I'm worried about finding a place to live before the baby comes so there's a lot to deal with. He called me heartless and selfish for telling him I have to focus on me and the baby and that's why the talk of suicide came up. He thought I didn't care about him or love him when that isn't true. I love him but he was horrible to me. I'm feeling stressed and unsure how to handle it all. I'm not killing my baby, end of story. Not giving my baby up for adoption either. What's with you people and trying to take away a woman's kid? I'm asking for advice with the baby's father not disposing of my child or giving them away.

Dr. Stephanie

So you allowed yourself to get pregnant with someone who is abusive, depressed to the point of suicide? Get him to a suicide prevention hotline and back off of trying to "save him". You can't. This is a job for professionals. Instead, consider saving yourself, and your baby. You are in big trouble with having him as the father of your child. Legally, he has a right to be involved. Legally, he is obligated to pay child support. But you don't have to keep up a relationship with him and you shouldn't. He is mentally ill, a terrible role model for your future child,and horrible to you. Instead, get yourself to a supportive, licensed counselor (low cost clinics are in every community) and learn what it is about yourself that led to having a relationship with this person at all, in the first place. And do you now know how not to get pregnant again, until you are good and ready, stable, with someone who will be a great life partner and father to your children? If not, your doctor or Planned Parenthood are great resources and you should take advantage of them. Right now, your foremost and highest priority has to be your child and their best interests, now and in the future. So good luck and good wishes, you have much to do, and you don't need all the trouble that comes with this loser. Good wishes,


You're not going to be in any way responsible if your ex commits suicide. Whether he does or whether he doesn't isn't your problem - it's his family's problem. You've told his family what he's been saying and they said they would keep an eye on him. That's all you can do. As an aside: I don't know why you or he would be wondering if he's going to come with you during your routine appointments with the doctor. What would be the point, even if he did? He couldn't be present while you were in with the doctor - he would have to wait in the Waiting Room. He probably wouldn't ever see hide nor hair of the doctor - the doctor's not going to come out into the Waiting Room afterward and talk to him. . All your ex would be really be doing is driving you back and forth to the doctor's office, and you're perfectly capable of doing that yourself.

pit bulls bite

move on


I'm not sure what the question is here, but if you are looking for advice, it's going to be the tough love kind. You need to just let this guy go. Stop trying to contact him, stop placating him, just stop with him all together. You were in an abusive and controlling relationship and are now expecting this guy to be a good father? Not going to happen. He will use the baby to continue to manipulate you (and it sounds like he is already doing that) and will do god knows what to this child. If it's at all possible, get some counseling. You were in an abusive relationship and need help healing. Get rid of all expectations of your ex to co parent. If he gets his act together and takes legal measures to get visitation, deal with him then. Until then, do not engage him. Find your own support system, friends, family and lean on them.


Well stop. Let him be. You do not know if he is saving money for you and the child, or if he committed himself or what. His family may know so ask them. Either way, contact the welfare office and make an appointment. They can help in finding a place to live and even with wic and snap.

Beverly S

Don't bring a child into an abusive relationship. The child deserves parents who love & want him.. not a dad who is a jerk.

The Taxpayer

sounds like you've got a real winner there.


contact the local cradle agency and arrange to at least listen to the adoption out alternative. our family had the same situation and the baby was born and the young lady finished school and the baby went to a loving home with two well adjusted parents who were absolutely in love with the new baby.


You're making this more complicated than it is. If you do not want your child to have an abusive, alcoholic, mentally ill parent, then terminate the pregnancy. If you want your child to have an abusive, alcoholic, mentally ill parent, then continue with the pregnancy. ETA: "The issue is not whether to have the child,its whether to have the father of the child." Nonsense. The father of the child comes with the child. He has legal rights. I actually agree with most of what you said in your answer, but the part you are missing is that HE IS THE FATHER and nothing is going to change that. "Consider saving yourself and the baby" How? What does that MEAN? "But you don't have to keep up a relationship with him" Uhhhh...if she has the baby they will be co-parents for the rest of their lives.