This is going to sound so crazy but stick with me?

Ok so a few years ago I knew a girl that was ready to smd. She worked in the student union. And I could feel how much I turned her on. I could have easily put myself in a position to make it happen. But I knew there was no real love there. She used to get drunk and compliment my nips bleeding through my shirt. And she nicknamed me sugartits because of my nips. Obviously it was really lighthearted and playful. It didn t hurt my feelings but other guys saw she was hitting on me and they became envious, because she would flirt so openly with me, so they adopted the nickname and started calling me it. And then I began to harbor the nickname. I didn t mind that much but then when everybody started calling me it, it got embarrassing because they started calling me it in front of adults and then adults are always like looking at themselves like why do these kids keep calling him that, are they hazing him? It just got to be too much. Because I really didn t like the unwanted attention. I know that was never her intention for the name to catch on the way it did, but quite frankly I hate any form of notoriety. She was beautiful don t get me wrong, and maybe I should have capitalized on the opportunity, and I know a lot of people would jump at the opportunity. But I never really felt real love there. And call me crazy, but it was a time in life where I actually felt love even though it wasn t real love. I could tell she always wanted to rip off my shirt. Otherwise she wouldn't have been that open with me. And I know she felt terrible when the nickname took off like a rampant forest fire. But I don't hold any hate in my heart towards her at all. I just never felt the love there. I realize it's ridiculous, I used to visit her on her shift and we would talk about packages in the student union. I could tell there were so many innuendos. And she just had a completely playful nature, very down to earth, and very friendly. So much fun to be around. But in the end it would have never worked out. It's not about us as like an item but it was more about how we were just so different in a contextual sense. It doesn't make any sense but to get back to the topic something in me just couldn't let her smd. I guess my question is why?